For Men

100 Dirty Pick Up Lines

Looking for some dirty pick up lines?

Compared to a safe cheesy pick up line, you expose yourself to risk by using a weird and creepy line. Some might find it funny while others might feel offended by your straightforwardness.

But – you don’t know until you try, right?

Consider yourself warned! With that in mind, let’s dive into some dirty chat up lines:

Dirty Pick Up Lines

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

I have an oral fixation with giving oral gratification. If you are willing to receive, I am more than willing to give.

Damn girl, your a** is bigger than my future!

For Men

For Women

There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus.

Do you know what I like in a girl? My d**k.

There is a lot of fish in the sea, but you’re the only one I’d like to mount.

I would f**k you so hard, you’d learn from it.

That’s a nice dress. But it would look better in an evidence bag at my trial.

Are you constipated? Cause I wanna f**k the s**t out of you.

What’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I don’t have a Ferrari.

Do you like Wendy’s? Cause you’re gonna love Wendy’s nuts are slapping your chin.

Are those lumberjack pants you wearing? Cause they are giving me a wood.

Are you a candle? Because I want to blow you.

Are you a raisin? Cause you’re raisin my d**k!

For Men

For Women

Do you believe guys think with their d**k? (Yes) Well, in the case, will you blow my mind?

Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.

Are you from Africa? Cause I wanna know Kenya suck this d**k?

Are you spaghetti cause I want you to meat my balls?

Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I’d love to spread them!

As long as I have a face, you’ll have a place to sit.

Call me leaves, cause you should be blowing me.

Could I touch your belly button … from the inside?

Damn girl, I’d love to kiss those beautiful, luscious lips. And the ones on your face.

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.

Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

For Men

For Women

Excuse me, I just s**t in my pants. Can I get in yours?

F**k me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name Anna?

I have a job for you, but it blows.

I hope you like dragons, because I’ll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.

I may not be a windshield repairman, but I can still fill your crack in.

I wanna floss with your pubic hair.

I wanna go inside your wine cabinet and pull myself out a stiff one.

I wanna paint you green and spank you like a disobedient avocado.

I would tell you a joke about my penis, but it’s too long!

I’d like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart.

I’m a burglar and I’m gonna smash your backdoor in.

If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?

If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?

They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what that p**sy needs.

Why pay for a bra, when I would gladly hold your boobs up all day for free?

Your parents must be retarded because you sure are special!

I’ll make you shiver when I deliver.

I’m no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight.

Let’s play house. You can be the door and I can slam you all I want!

Nice hair, wanna mess it up?

Nice legs, what time do they open?

Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?

My love for you is like a fart, I just can’t hold it in.

If you were a booger I’d pick you first.

Girl, if I were a fly, I’d be all over you, because you’re the s**t!

You’re just like my little toe because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.

Did you fart? Because you just blew me away.

You are so hot that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.

I wish I was cross-eyed so I could see you twice.

You’re hotter than my deep fat fryer.

Wanna go halves on a baby?

I’m hung like a tic tac. Wanna freshen your breath?

It’s fine if you lost your virginity. I just want the box it came in.

Do you like whales? Cause we can go humpback at my place.

I last longer than a white crayon.

Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.

How do you like your eggs? Poached, scrambled or fertilized?

Please tell your breasts to stop staring at my eyes.

I only have one testicle. (Really?) Only one way to find out.

Hey … somebody farted. Let’s get out of here!

You know how they say skin is the largest organ on the human body? Not in my case.

Sex is evil, evil is sin, sins are forgiven, so stick it in.

Sit on my lap and we’ll get things straight between us.

Smile. Is the second best thing you can do with your lips.

That’s not a candy cane in my pocket. I’m just glad to see you.

Wow, you must be a real dictator because I’m experiencing an uprising.

You know, I wanna go inside your wine cabinet and pull myself out a stiff one.

You should join the circus. (Why?) So you can learn to juggle the balls all day.

I have an instrument that can measure the length of your throat.

Hey girl, do you have a scrapyard, because I need somewhere to put my junk!

Hey, you want to see some magic? You and I will go to your place, have sex and then I’ll disappear in the morning.

We’ll probably never see each other again, so let’s screw.

The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to f**k you on the floor.

I’m leaving this place… want to cum?

I’m like Domino’s Pizza. If I don’t cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.

Hi, wanna f**k? (No) Well, mind lying down while I do?

Wanna go on an ate with me? I’ll give you the D later.

If I were a dog, would you help me bury my bone?

I wish with all my heart, for you to spread your legs apart.

Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is like a French kiss, but down under.

You know why they call me the cat whisperer? Cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.

I like every bone in your body, especially mine.

I named my d**k “the truth” cause girls can’t handle it!

If you were a washing machine, I would put my dirty load inside you.

Looks don’t matter, I’ll just wrap you in a flag and f**k you for glory.

I’m going to make you breakfast… Omellete you suck this d**k.

Are you fertilizer? Cause you just made me grow 6 inches.

So, you’re not into casual sex? Fine, I’ll put on a tux and we can call it formal.

Do you like yoga? Cause yoganna love this d**k.

Does your pussy smell like fish? I love sushi.

Are you a drill sergeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention.

Are you from the ghetto? Cause I’m about to ghetto hold of dat a**.

Do you like pudding? Cause I’ll be pudding this d**k in your a**.

Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?

Is your a** insured? (No, why?) Well, do you want it to be in good hands?


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